I Don't Know How to Be Successful Doing Less
Written by Derek Mulhern, PCC
Recently, I hit a breaking point over something that, on paper, wasn't a big deal at all. It wasn't really about that one problem. It was about everything stacked behind it—the decisions, the follow-ups, and the people I was trying not to let down.
I've spent most of my career believing that working harder was the answer. It usually was. But lately I've started to wonder if some of the habits that helped me get here are the same ones holding me back from what's next.
In the article below, I share what I'm learning about letting go of control, trusting others to carry more, and what it actually looks like to be successful doing less.
Happy reading!
A few weeks ago, I felt like I was at my breaking point.
I spent far too much time trying to solve an email problem that felt like it was the final straw.
On the surface, it wasn't a huge deal.
Just one of those annoying tech issues that somehow consumes more time and energy than it should.
The problem wasn't the email.
The problem was that it landed in the middle of what felt like ten other things.
A client project.
A decision that needed to be made.
A follow-up I hadn't gotten to.
A commitment I was trying to honor.
Trying to find time to spend with my partner, Brian.
And I remember sitting there thinking:
No matter what I do, I can't get ahead.
Maybe you've had that feeling too.
Not because you're failing or incapable, but because it feels like every time you clear one thing off your plate, three more magically show up in its place.
The Limit of Working Harder
This is one of those things leaders don't often say out loud.
There comes a point in your leadership when working harder stops solving the problem.
For most of my career, the answer was usually some version of the same thing:
Work harder.
Be more efficient.
Produce excellent work.
Figure it out.
And to be fair, those habits served me very well.
They helped me build a business.
They helped me earn trust.
They helped me create tons of opportunities.
But lately I've been wondering if some of the habits that helped me get here are the same habits making it harder to get where I'm going next.
A Leadership Model That No Longer Fits
The truth is, there will always be another email.
Another problem, another project, another decision.
Leadership isn't about eliminating all the things.
It's about knowing which things deserve your attention.
And that's where I think many leaders get stuck.
We tell ourselves we're overwhelmed because there's too much to do.
Sometimes that's true.
But sometimes what we're actually experiencing is the limit of a leadership model that no longer fits.
The version of leadership that got us here was built on effort.
The version that takes us forward often requires something different.
Letting go of control.
Allowing others to carry responsibility.
Accepting that some things won't get done.
Trusting that what truly matters will make itself known.
The Question Underneath "I'm Just Trying to Keep Up"
I hear versions of this from leaders all the time.
"I'm just trying to keep up."
"Once I get through this month, things will settle down."
But underneath is something more important:
I don't know what it looks like to be successful doing less.
And honestly, I think that's what makes this so difficult.
Many of us were rewarded for carrying more.
Promoted for carrying more.
Trusted because we carried more.
So when the answer becomes carrying less, it can feel less like growth and more like failure.
What Happens When You Stop Holding Everything
But I've started to notice something on the other side of that.
When I stop trying to hold everything, what's important tends to make itself known.
My energy becomes clearer and my attention more intentional.
Most importantly, I begin trusting myself again.
The work doesn't go away.
But I'm spending less time trying to do everything.
Sometimes burnout is less about how much you're carrying and more about how long you've been carrying things that are no longer yours.
